My church is a very typical mainline church, comprised for the most part of faithful people who are nearing the end of this life's journey. They cannot understand why their children and grandchildren do not attend this church with its stone walls and somber sanctuary. It saddens them that the organ that they love does not pull the younger generation towards God, that the programs that nurtured them do not provide spiritual sustenance for those who are climbing life's mountain instead of aiming downhill.
In the midst of this I know that I am called to help blaze a new trail. I'm called to promote a vision that is compelling enough to help the people overcome their doubt, fears and stubbornness. Why me? Literally, God only knows, because I don't.
Today I was reminded of the story in Numbers where the Israelites had reached the edge of the Promised Land. Moses sent in a team to check out what awaited them across the river. Of the team of twelve, ten of them were convinced that there was no way that they could find a home in that new place. Only two of them, Joshua and Caleb, came back saying "Hey, it's all good. God will be with us. That place is ours for the taking."
The ten told tales of giants too big to slay, cities too fortified to invade and people too numerous to overcome.
Joshua and Caleb said "God is with us. What's the big deal?"
The people listened to the ten. I probably would too. "Let's elect a new leader to take us back to Egypt. Maybe they'll let us be their slaves again and we'll have a place to live and food to eat." It made perfect sense. Moving forward made no sense at all. Joshua and Caleb must have been smoking the wacky weed!
How the heck did the scouting report of Joshua and Caleb become the one that they followed?
Because where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is hope, faith and courage.
The spirit of fear is vanquished.
Translating the vision is also a God thing. The spirit of doubt and discouragement that lives within needs to move over. I don't have time or space for them.
Thanks God, for the reminder.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Becoming Community
The few of you out there that read this blog know that on October 3, World Communion Sunday, we made the unusual move of gathering 4 DOC churches and 2 nesting non-Anglo churches together for worship. The fact that so many people actually voluntarily came together was a wonderful surprise. The fact that probably 20% of the people who would have normally attended worship at their "home" church but did not attend this service was unfortunately not a surprise at all.
All four churches are declining in attendance and increasing in age. Some have been at it longer than others, and some are further down the line toward extinction than others. But they all have one thing in common: there are some in every congregation that refuse to acknowledge that unless something changes that their beloved congregation will die. It doesn't matter what statistics you present them with; they refuse to believe that there are any changes that need to be made.
I realize that it takes a lot of faith to step into the unknown. But isn't that what living is all about? No matter what illusions we have that our lives are under our control, the truth is that we cannot control everything around us. Doesn't faith in God require us to acknowledge that we aren't the center of our universe?
While I don't believe that God is a puppet master, I do believe that there is a higher order to the universe, that God has a preferred outcome for us, and if we open ourselves up to God's leading that we can pursue that outcome. But opening myself up to God's leading probably means that I need to be willing to put aside my own predetermined ideas about what God might have in mind.
It is a joy to say that many people who came together that day ARE willing to explore what God might desire for our churches. The vision that the 5 pastors received during a retreat in August was that our congregations would "die" in order to be resurrected as one new thing. The economics suggest that it is possible, particularly if we leased commercial space instead of trying to build something new.
Yet even though we are very convinced that this was indeed a vision from God, what we are most hopeful for is that all of our congregations will be open to whatever God might be able to do through us.
Growing a new community out of the ashes of four former communities is the real issue. In the days when these churches were established, there was a full church on every corner, and having buildings two to three miles apart was not a problem. There were plenty of people to fill them. There are still as many people to fill them now as there were then -- it's just that the people of today associate our buildings and our way of being "church" as outdated and irrelevant. We can try to survive by struggling to lure people into our crumbling facilities with a handful of people sitting throughout our sanctuaries. But the odds are against us. It hasn't worked so far, so it's hard to imagine that it will work in the future.
Just how different are we, anyway, that trying to build a community would be so difficult? With minor exceptions we worship the same way, our committee structures are similar and we're all the same denomination. The majority of us are fairly "middle of the road" theologically, with some on either side of the middle in each congregation. What's the only thing that is REALLY keeping us apart? The attachment we have to the bricks and mortar.
We are drowning and instead of climbing onto a life raft we are insisting on hanging on to the hull of our respective ships. We'd rather go down with the ship than sail into new life. Does this make any sense?
It's never easy to build a community.
All four churches are declining in attendance and increasing in age. Some have been at it longer than others, and some are further down the line toward extinction than others. But they all have one thing in common: there are some in every congregation that refuse to acknowledge that unless something changes that their beloved congregation will die. It doesn't matter what statistics you present them with; they refuse to believe that there are any changes that need to be made.
I realize that it takes a lot of faith to step into the unknown. But isn't that what living is all about? No matter what illusions we have that our lives are under our control, the truth is that we cannot control everything around us. Doesn't faith in God require us to acknowledge that we aren't the center of our universe?
While I don't believe that God is a puppet master, I do believe that there is a higher order to the universe, that God has a preferred outcome for us, and if we open ourselves up to God's leading that we can pursue that outcome. But opening myself up to God's leading probably means that I need to be willing to put aside my own predetermined ideas about what God might have in mind.
It is a joy to say that many people who came together that day ARE willing to explore what God might desire for our churches. The vision that the 5 pastors received during a retreat in August was that our congregations would "die" in order to be resurrected as one new thing. The economics suggest that it is possible, particularly if we leased commercial space instead of trying to build something new.
Yet even though we are very convinced that this was indeed a vision from God, what we are most hopeful for is that all of our congregations will be open to whatever God might be able to do through us.
Growing a new community out of the ashes of four former communities is the real issue. In the days when these churches were established, there was a full church on every corner, and having buildings two to three miles apart was not a problem. There were plenty of people to fill them. There are still as many people to fill them now as there were then -- it's just that the people of today associate our buildings and our way of being "church" as outdated and irrelevant. We can try to survive by struggling to lure people into our crumbling facilities with a handful of people sitting throughout our sanctuaries. But the odds are against us. It hasn't worked so far, so it's hard to imagine that it will work in the future.
Just how different are we, anyway, that trying to build a community would be so difficult? With minor exceptions we worship the same way, our committee structures are similar and we're all the same denomination. The majority of us are fairly "middle of the road" theologically, with some on either side of the middle in each congregation. What's the only thing that is REALLY keeping us apart? The attachment we have to the bricks and mortar.
We are drowning and instead of climbing onto a life raft we are insisting on hanging on to the hull of our respective ships. We'd rather go down with the ship than sail into new life. Does this make any sense?
It's never easy to build a community.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
In the Thick of It
I returned from a 12 day vacation a week ago. Those 12 days included 2 Sundays, which was a first for my 8 years in ministry - 2 Sundays off back to back. I'm grateful that my congregation supports the time that staff takes to relax and re-create. I was in dire need of it, and didn't really start to relax fully until three or four days into it. By that point if I'd been taking my usual 7 days off I would have started gearing up mentally for returning. This time I could postpone that and even delayed it until about two days before I was to return. It made a world of difference.
But now it's been a week already and in some ways I feel like I never left. But in others I can see that my energy is renewed and my enthusiasm is higher than it was when I left. But what has happened is that the time I was taking to spend on exercise has plummeted, and that will make me very tired in short order. I've got to realize that without exercise I'll be thicker than I am at this moment, both mentally and physically.
There are big things ahead for me in the next few weeks. I've got to be at my mental and spiritual best. I scheduled a 2 day conference months ago before I knew what would be on my plate the first Sunday of October. As I started to think about being gone I started to bemoan that the timing was all wrong, but I've spent the money and can't get it back. As I think about it I am realizing that the trip might be a blessing rather than a curse. It will be a time for me to spend with other pastors and hopefully to get even more excited about the task that lays ahead.
On October 3 I will be preaching to at least 5 and perhaps 6 congregations, 2 of which are ethnic. The congregations are gathering together to celebrate World Communion Sunday. Not only are we gathering together for this celebration, but I am also going to be sharing with these people the vision that the five pastors have had for the future. "Doing great big things in a great big way for a great big God." We had a retreat last month and an impossible vision was laid on our hearts, so we're pretty sure that God is in it. The task of sharing this has fallen to me, and I am humbled, proud, honored and excited. I'm not really scared -- at least not this minute. I'm excited though, and sometimes my excitement chokes me up, both physically and mentally. So I'm praying for calm in the midst of the excitement so that I can be coherent and effective with my words. I'm only going to be able to do that if I take care of myself though.
So I won't be in the thick of it.
But now it's been a week already and in some ways I feel like I never left. But in others I can see that my energy is renewed and my enthusiasm is higher than it was when I left. But what has happened is that the time I was taking to spend on exercise has plummeted, and that will make me very tired in short order. I've got to realize that without exercise I'll be thicker than I am at this moment, both mentally and physically.
There are big things ahead for me in the next few weeks. I've got to be at my mental and spiritual best. I scheduled a 2 day conference months ago before I knew what would be on my plate the first Sunday of October. As I started to think about being gone I started to bemoan that the timing was all wrong, but I've spent the money and can't get it back. As I think about it I am realizing that the trip might be a blessing rather than a curse. It will be a time for me to spend with other pastors and hopefully to get even more excited about the task that lays ahead.
On October 3 I will be preaching to at least 5 and perhaps 6 congregations, 2 of which are ethnic. The congregations are gathering together to celebrate World Communion Sunday. Not only are we gathering together for this celebration, but I am also going to be sharing with these people the vision that the five pastors have had for the future. "Doing great big things in a great big way for a great big God." We had a retreat last month and an impossible vision was laid on our hearts, so we're pretty sure that God is in it. The task of sharing this has fallen to me, and I am humbled, proud, honored and excited. I'm not really scared -- at least not this minute. I'm excited though, and sometimes my excitement chokes me up, both physically and mentally. So I'm praying for calm in the midst of the excitement so that I can be coherent and effective with my words. I'm only going to be able to do that if I take care of myself though.
So I won't be in the thick of it.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thoughts on Patriotism and Christianity
As a minister I often receive forwarded e-mails from my congregation such as this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlfEdJNn15E. This is of a tour of the capitol lead by a pastor. The main focus is about our founding fathers being Christian, with visual evidence from paintings in the Capitol and other evidence from letters, etc. I have not researched the accuracy of the statements made in the video, but I am willing to take them as being factual.
What is implied but not said in the video is that the United States of America was founded as a Christian nation with Judeo-Christian values and therefore our government should be promoting Christianity. These are my words and not theirs, but this is the context in which I place these comments.
While it may be factual that many of the first citizens of this country were Christian, these same Christians stated in the 1st Amendment to the Constitution the following: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
When the writers of this amendment wrote it they were probably thinking of different sects of Christianity and perhaps Judaism. However, I've also been told that the level of church attendance around the time of the Revolution and during the writing of the Constitution was almost as low as it is today. A generous estimate is that 20% of our population is in worshiping in some house of worship in any given week. Some of the low attendance at that time might be attributed to people living in rural areas without access to churches, but it's my understanding that church attendance in the cities was not high either. That low attendance might not have been a sign of lack of faith, although it certainly was indicative of a lack of public worship. If you ask Americans today if they believe in God and if they pray the percentages are pretty high, somewhere between 85% and 90% is usually quoted. But that doesn't mean that they are all Christian, or attending a Christian church, or practicing a Christian life.
Just because government declares a religion the "official" state religion doesn't necessarily mean the citizens embrace that religion. Until the year 2000 the Lutheran church was the official church of Sweden. Yet I just went to the official website for Sweden and this is what it said: "In practice, Sweden is very secularized. The Church of Sweden is Evangelical Lutheran;[it] co-exists with many other beliefs."
Some Christians think the government persecutes Christianity, citing instances such as Christmas displays removed from city squares. Yet the school year still revolves around Christian holidays, especially Christmas. Should we be closing school for holidays celebrated by other religions? Or, should we Christians, like most other religions, be confronted with the choice to send our kids to school on a holy day or keep them home to observe it?
If our government was going to promote Christianity, I have two concerns:
1. Who gets to decide what kind of Christianity is acceptable? and
2. If a citizen chooses some other kind of religion or no religion, is it acceptable to ask the government to promote that too?
The Declaration of Independence says "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." If I am a citizen who chooses not to be religious, am I receiving equal treatment if I am subjected to government promotion of religion?
Perhaps we need to be careful what we are praying for. A prayer for the United States to "once again be a Christian nation" might be answered in the affirmative. But what if that Christianity wasn't YOUR brand of Christianity?
Hmmmmmm......
What is implied but not said in the video is that the United States of America was founded as a Christian nation with Judeo-Christian values and therefore our government should be promoting Christianity. These are my words and not theirs, but this is the context in which I place these comments.
While it may be factual that many of the first citizens of this country were Christian, these same Christians stated in the 1st Amendment to the Constitution the following: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
When the writers of this amendment wrote it they were probably thinking of different sects of Christianity and perhaps Judaism. However, I've also been told that the level of church attendance around the time of the Revolution and during the writing of the Constitution was almost as low as it is today. A generous estimate is that 20% of our population is in worshiping in some house of worship in any given week. Some of the low attendance at that time might be attributed to people living in rural areas without access to churches, but it's my understanding that church attendance in the cities was not high either. That low attendance might not have been a sign of lack of faith, although it certainly was indicative of a lack of public worship. If you ask Americans today if they believe in God and if they pray the percentages are pretty high, somewhere between 85% and 90% is usually quoted. But that doesn't mean that they are all Christian, or attending a Christian church, or practicing a Christian life.
Just because government declares a religion the "official" state religion doesn't necessarily mean the citizens embrace that religion. Until the year 2000 the Lutheran church was the official church of Sweden. Yet I just went to the official website for Sweden and this is what it said: "In practice, Sweden is very secularized. The Church of Sweden is Evangelical Lutheran;[it] co-exists with many other beliefs."
Some Christians think the government persecutes Christianity, citing instances such as Christmas displays removed from city squares. Yet the school year still revolves around Christian holidays, especially Christmas. Should we be closing school for holidays celebrated by other religions? Or, should we Christians, like most other religions, be confronted with the choice to send our kids to school on a holy day or keep them home to observe it?
If our government was going to promote Christianity, I have two concerns:
1. Who gets to decide what kind of Christianity is acceptable? and
2. If a citizen chooses some other kind of religion or no religion, is it acceptable to ask the government to promote that too?
The Declaration of Independence says "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." If I am a citizen who chooses not to be religious, am I receiving equal treatment if I am subjected to government promotion of religion?
Perhaps we need to be careful what we are praying for. A prayer for the United States to "once again be a Christian nation" might be answered in the affirmative. But what if that Christianity wasn't YOUR brand of Christianity?
Hmmmmmm......
Friday, August 20, 2010
New beginnings
Every time someone new comes to a staff they bring great expectations. We look at the new person as the catalyst that will get the rest of us excited again. We expect the new person to bring in new ideas and new perspectives that will re-energize us in our work. Many times this is the case, and sometimes it isn't.
I've lived through both situations, and more often than not I was the one who had hired or recommended the person. Sometimes things have turned out mostly like I'd planned, and sometimes they've been even BETTER than I've planned. But I'd say on an average I've made the right decision in personnel about 75 to 80% of the time. That leaves a lot of wiggle room for disappointing decisions though.
In the next two weeks we have two new people starting here at the church. One is a director for our child care program and the other is coming to lead youth ministry. I know how I think they should affect the rest of us. Yet who really knows what will happen? One of them I've known for several years and have even worked with before. The other I just met a week ago. But I've hired people I thought I knew and things didn't turn out as I expected, and I've hired people who I didn't know and things have been better than expected. (And vice versa of course.)
We never really know the details we need to know about a person until we've been put in the same "corral" for a while. This is true in the workplace, in marriage, in any kind of relationship that requires regular interaction. There are always kinks to be worked out, expectations to clarify (on both sides), and just the general "get-to-know-your-work-style" phase. But after we get moving, we tend to let things coast (or at least I do.) And that's not the way to keep any relationship healthy.
So here I am hoping to change that approach this time. I want to be more responsive on a regular basis to both of these people, meeting with them regularly to discuss the joys and challenges they face and we face together. I can't take for granted that they will (or even should) see things the way I do. We need to be intentional about our relationship just as we should be intentional about ALL our relationships.
My prayer is for perseverance, to continue to climb the mountain that is ahead of any good relationship. It's always so easy to coast. I want to keep pedaling!
I've lived through both situations, and more often than not I was the one who had hired or recommended the person. Sometimes things have turned out mostly like I'd planned, and sometimes they've been even BETTER than I've planned. But I'd say on an average I've made the right decision in personnel about 75 to 80% of the time. That leaves a lot of wiggle room for disappointing decisions though.
In the next two weeks we have two new people starting here at the church. One is a director for our child care program and the other is coming to lead youth ministry. I know how I think they should affect the rest of us. Yet who really knows what will happen? One of them I've known for several years and have even worked with before. The other I just met a week ago. But I've hired people I thought I knew and things didn't turn out as I expected, and I've hired people who I didn't know and things have been better than expected. (And vice versa of course.)
We never really know the details we need to know about a person until we've been put in the same "corral" for a while. This is true in the workplace, in marriage, in any kind of relationship that requires regular interaction. There are always kinks to be worked out, expectations to clarify (on both sides), and just the general "get-to-know-your-work-style" phase. But after we get moving, we tend to let things coast (or at least I do.) And that's not the way to keep any relationship healthy.
So here I am hoping to change that approach this time. I want to be more responsive on a regular basis to both of these people, meeting with them regularly to discuss the joys and challenges they face and we face together. I can't take for granted that they will (or even should) see things the way I do. We need to be intentional about our relationship just as we should be intentional about ALL our relationships.
My prayer is for perseverance, to continue to climb the mountain that is ahead of any good relationship. It's always so easy to coast. I want to keep pedaling!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Is Excess Ever Good?
I've often said "Anything worth doing is worth doing to excess." This mantra has gotten me into trouble (such as with excess food) but it can also be a lot of fun (such as excess time spent playing). I realize that many promote the idea of complete moderation in all things. I know that there are lots of reasons that moderation should be the norm. Moderate political policies appeal to many people. Moderate use of resources is to be applauded. Moderate portions of food keep one from being overstuffed.
But aren't there occasions and seasons of life when excess is actually a good thing? Excessive enthusiasm about a vision might be the best way for the vision to be realized. Who wants to follow a leader who says "Here's the vision. I think it's really good. You should follow this vision."? Wouldn't you rather follow someone who is SOLD OUT for the vision. HEY PEOPLE... LOOK WHAT A GREAT IDEA THIS IS? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME IN MAKING THIS GREAT THING HAPPEN? (imagine someone who is bouncing up and down with enthusiasm as this is said.) You might think they're a little strange, and you might not agree with the vision, but at least you'd know that THEY believe in it.
Or how about people who have excess money? Isn't philanthropy fueled by those who have, for whatever reason, accumulated so many resources that they are able to give away some of it for the good of others? I'll grant you that I'll probably never be rich, and perhaps that is why I have this belief that those to whom much has been given much is to be expected. If I was a billionaire maybe I wouldn't think that way, but I would hope that the generosity that I practice today would not diminish but would actually increase if I accumulated excess money.
Can we ever have too much of a good thing? Love, generosity, talent, wisdom. Can we ever be excessively kind (not phony kindness but REAL GENUINE CONCERN for others), or excessively empathetic or excessively enthusiastic? I guess it's possible.
But I'm holding on to my mantra. It is a nice accompaniment to "Better to ask for forgiveness than permission." But that's another post.
But aren't there occasions and seasons of life when excess is actually a good thing? Excessive enthusiasm about a vision might be the best way for the vision to be realized. Who wants to follow a leader who says "Here's the vision. I think it's really good. You should follow this vision."? Wouldn't you rather follow someone who is SOLD OUT for the vision. HEY PEOPLE... LOOK WHAT A GREAT IDEA THIS IS? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME IN MAKING THIS GREAT THING HAPPEN? (imagine someone who is bouncing up and down with enthusiasm as this is said.) You might think they're a little strange, and you might not agree with the vision, but at least you'd know that THEY believe in it.
Or how about people who have excess money? Isn't philanthropy fueled by those who have, for whatever reason, accumulated so many resources that they are able to give away some of it for the good of others? I'll grant you that I'll probably never be rich, and perhaps that is why I have this belief that those to whom much has been given much is to be expected. If I was a billionaire maybe I wouldn't think that way, but I would hope that the generosity that I practice today would not diminish but would actually increase if I accumulated excess money.
Can we ever have too much of a good thing? Love, generosity, talent, wisdom. Can we ever be excessively kind (not phony kindness but REAL GENUINE CONCERN for others), or excessively empathetic or excessively enthusiastic? I guess it's possible.
But I'm holding on to my mantra. It is a nice accompaniment to "Better to ask for forgiveness than permission." But that's another post.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I don't have time to write in this blog. But I have decided that it is one of those little disciplines in life that are good for me. So Here I Am Lord.
There are lots of changes going on in my world. We just hired two new people that I am responsible for overseeing. I am one of 5 pastors who have had a vision that we are praying about, laying out a fleece to see if it's God's idea or ours. My youngest child (and this time he really IS IT) is now officially a senior in high school, and the changes that brings are already making me feel wistful and a bit sad. But I'm the one who rallies around the cry "Change is good!" But it's also not the easiest route to travel.
I thought I'd also start posting my sermon manuscripts here from time to time, although that makes me a bit nervous. Mostly because what I write is often not what I end up saying. But, for what it's worth, I'm posting it here. Let me give credit to Andy Stanley and his book "The Principle of the Path" here before I post it. I've been using it for this month of Sundays as the basis for the sermon series. Usually I credit him in the sermon, but since this is number 4 of 5 I didn't this week. My bad. Here it is:
The Heart of the Matter Jer 17:9-10; Jn 8:31-32
Rev. Suzi Goldt August 15, 2010
The Principle of the Path:
“Direction, not intention, determines destination”
Let’s be honest. Most of us are bright enough to know that this principle is indisputable. We might not always SEE what’s at the end of the path, but when we look backward we can usually, if we’re truthful, see exactly how we got to where we are today. We can look back at the financial decisions we’ve made, the life-style decisions we’ve made, the relationship decisions we’ve made and say “Yep – that’s where everything came together for me.” Or “Darn – I really wish someone would have told me that I’d end up here; I would have gone a different direction.” And sometimes we look back and see that we were forced on to a detour that we didn’t want to take: the loss of a job; the death of a spouse; the downturn of the economy. Things like these are just like the big “DETOUR” signs around my neighborhood right now as they rebuild the Overland Parkway, otherwise known as 69 Highway or to really long-timers, the Switzer Bypass. There is no choice. I cannot get on where I normally do, and it usually adds a few minutes to any destination I’m heading for.
We’re all reasonably smart people with pretty good brains and lots of common sense. But we’ve all made decisions that we knew were NOT going to take us where we wanted to go from the minute we made them. Our intelligence didn’t stop us. For example, how many of us have taken on a payment for something that we just HAD to have, something like a new TV, a new car, a new kitchen, a time-share at the lake… I’ll bet each and every one in this room has, at some time, justified some action that really wasn’t totally justifiable. Sure, we might have been able to afford it. But we didn’t have any real NEED for it; we just WANTED it.
Take Chuck for instance. His wife had a perfectly good SUV. Chuck took it down and traded it in for a new one. The reason he TOLD himself that he bought it was “I got it because the other one was eating us alive with poor gas mileage. This one is more fuel efficient.” Give me a break. NOBODY buys an SUV if the real reason is fuel efficiency. The best SUV couldn’t possibly be as fuel efficient as a smaller car. But that was the reason that helped justify the purchase for Chuck. If he’d been honest, he probably would have said “The reason I bought it is because the new one looks better, smells better, has a Bluetooth and some smokin’ hot twenty-inch wheels.”
Now I don’t mean to pick on car purchases. We can do this with just about anything. We all know that we have.
The question is: Why do we do that?
We talked about making wise, prudent decisions last week. And we all know that the wise decision will take us down the path of ultimate happiness. But here’s the rub. Our IMMEDIATE HAPPINESS isn’t always stroked when we’re prudent. We are constantly on the prowl for that buzz of happiness that happens right NOW. We tell ourselves we should be happy that we take our money and put it into a savings account for a rainy day. But when we just saw that shiny new THING, that we had to have, like an18 foot bass fishing boat with 100% unsinkable level flotation, lifetime structural hull warranty, pro seat with power pole, and Teleflex sea star hydraulic steering,
or that beautiful solid oak dining set including a 10 foot extendable table with 8 chairs and a china hutch with two wood-framed, beveled glass doors, 3 adjustable glass shelves and halogen lights,
WE’RE NOT ALL THAT HAPPY!
And we should think: “I’ve got that money that I’ve been saving for future house repairs. Won’t it be wonderful to have the money to pay for a new roof when it starts to leak? That will make me happy.”
Of COURSE we don’t think that.
We think “I’d be very happy if I had that boat. It’s the coolest boat I’ve ever seen.” And then we start in with the justification. “I’d probably catch more fish in that boat because it would take me out farther into the lake and it would be more comfortable so I’d fish longer. And if I caught more fish we could eat them and we’d save money on our grocery bill. And I can take my grandchildren fishing with me and we’ll have a wonderful time.” (That excuse works even if that the grandchild isn’t even conceived yet.)
Or
“That dining set is JUST what I’ve been looking for. It is so beautiful.” And the justification stage kicks in “I can host all kinds of family dinners; we’ll really bond as a family around the table. The china hutch will hold my grandmothers china and my children will be enriched by the heritage of the stories that I’ll tell them about my grandmother.”
You get the point.
In the Message version of the writings of the prophet Jeremiah we read:
9-10"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be." Jeremiah 17:9-10 (the Message)
We lie to ourselves every day so that we can have what we want when we want it.
We don’t NEED the Starbucks coffee. We can brew coffee at home whenever we want for a lot less; even if we can’t bring ourselves to do that we can buy it at McDonalds. But we LIKE Starbucks better, and it makes us happy; so we buy it. Maybe we justify the $20 or $30 we spend a week on coffee by saying “It’s my one little luxury that I allow myself to have.” There’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s just be honest though; it’s not the ONLY luxury we have. Our entire lives are more luxurious than most of the rest of the world.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting what we want; but the only way to coolly examine our wants and recognize them as wants instead of needs is to be HONEST with ourselves. We are so used to justification that we automatically jump to those thoughts in order to make our wants OK. We can’t live wise, prudent lives on paths that lead to our ultimate destination if we’re not sure where we are right now. That’s why we’ve got to be honest with ourselves.
We might decide to go ahead and be unwise. We might know that a particular decision is going to take us down a path that will eventually lead us to a dead end, or even a destructive end. Prudent, wise people wouldn’t go there and we know it. But today we say “I’m going into the jungle knowing it’s full of poisonous snakes and deadly spiders. But that’s what I want to do and I’m going to do it.” No justification, just honesty.
At one point early in my ministry I counseled a couple who was planning their wedding. They had been living together for seven years, and now they were going to be married. The length of time they had been together was significant in itself because many marriages start to travel on some bumpy roads at the seven year mark. Their relationship was beyond bumpy. They didn’t agree on anything. They didn’t like each others habits. They didn’t agree on religion. They had completely different styles of money management. They didn’t agree on how their children should be raised. (Thankfully they didn’t have any at the time.) One of them dominated the other one and the one being dominated resented it terribly. So after three counseling sessions I asked them, “Why do you want to get married to each other?”
And she said, “Because I love him.
And he said, “Because I love her.”
If love had ever existed in that relationship, it was hard to find evidence of it now. They could not come up with any concrete answers to the question. I advised them together and separately to seriously consider breaking up, living apart and taking some time as individuals to find out what they really wanted from a mate.
I’d love to tell you that they didn’t get married. They did. And I performed the ceremony, justifying it by saying “Well they’d just go get someone else to do it so I guess I might as well.”
And they justified it by saying “When we get married everything will be different.”
All three of us were wrong.
Jesus, in the gospel of John says this:
"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32 (TNIV)
Only when we tell the truth to ourselves can we be free to follow the wise path and avoid destruction.
In every area of my life I have learned that if I have to think of a justification for what I am about to do, then I need to think hard about whether I should be doing it at all.
That doesn’t mean that blind decisions made hastily are the way to stay on the path either. We can’t rush into a decision without thinking and assume that it’s going to take us where we want to go. We could get lucky, but the odds are against us.
But most decisions aren’t made blindly. And usually we have plenty of information and insight and can SEE that a particular path is likely to lead us in the wrong direction. The problem is we deceive ourselves; we refuse to be honest with ourselves so we can justify our ability to do things that make us happy in the moment, even though they are more than likely to make us miserable in the long term.
Our society often lives by the adage “Trust your heart.” But Jeremiah had it right. The heart, that part of us that is looking for immediate happiness, lies to us. The only way we can work around it is to KNOW that it lies. To be honest with ourselves about our ability to deceive ourselves. We can’t trust it, because it’s like a two-year-old. It’s that part of us that does not want to see that a stove is hot and that if you pull the dog’s tail it will bite. Your two-year-old self will find a way to convince your adult, wise, prudent self that eating that pastry today won’t kill you; that hanging around the cute girl in the office won’t lead to infidelity; that going into debt that you can’t afford won’t ruin you.
The truth is liberating, but it can be terrifying and maddening. Whenever we’re about to make a decision that could end in an undesired destination, let’s fill in the blank. Say “The real reason I ……..”
The real reason I don’t invite people to my home is….
The real reason I don’t call my kids is…..
The real reason I don’t call my parents is….
The real reason I drink so much is….
The real reason I don’t go to church is…..
The truth will set us free to follow the path that takes us in the correct direction.
But first it might make you scared. It might make you angry.
But better to be scared and angry now with the truth than to be angry later with the deception.
There are lots of changes going on in my world. We just hired two new people that I am responsible for overseeing. I am one of 5 pastors who have had a vision that we are praying about, laying out a fleece to see if it's God's idea or ours. My youngest child (and this time he really IS IT) is now officially a senior in high school, and the changes that brings are already making me feel wistful and a bit sad. But I'm the one who rallies around the cry "Change is good!" But it's also not the easiest route to travel.
I thought I'd also start posting my sermon manuscripts here from time to time, although that makes me a bit nervous. Mostly because what I write is often not what I end up saying. But, for what it's worth, I'm posting it here. Let me give credit to Andy Stanley and his book "The Principle of the Path" here before I post it. I've been using it for this month of Sundays as the basis for the sermon series. Usually I credit him in the sermon, but since this is number 4 of 5 I didn't this week. My bad. Here it is:
The Heart of the Matter Jer 17:9-10; Jn 8:31-32
Rev. Suzi Goldt August 15, 2010
The Principle of the Path:
“Direction, not intention, determines destination”
Let’s be honest. Most of us are bright enough to know that this principle is indisputable. We might not always SEE what’s at the end of the path, but when we look backward we can usually, if we’re truthful, see exactly how we got to where we are today. We can look back at the financial decisions we’ve made, the life-style decisions we’ve made, the relationship decisions we’ve made and say “Yep – that’s where everything came together for me.” Or “Darn – I really wish someone would have told me that I’d end up here; I would have gone a different direction.” And sometimes we look back and see that we were forced on to a detour that we didn’t want to take: the loss of a job; the death of a spouse; the downturn of the economy. Things like these are just like the big “DETOUR” signs around my neighborhood right now as they rebuild the Overland Parkway, otherwise known as 69 Highway or to really long-timers, the Switzer Bypass. There is no choice. I cannot get on where I normally do, and it usually adds a few minutes to any destination I’m heading for.
We’re all reasonably smart people with pretty good brains and lots of common sense. But we’ve all made decisions that we knew were NOT going to take us where we wanted to go from the minute we made them. Our intelligence didn’t stop us. For example, how many of us have taken on a payment for something that we just HAD to have, something like a new TV, a new car, a new kitchen, a time-share at the lake… I’ll bet each and every one in this room has, at some time, justified some action that really wasn’t totally justifiable. Sure, we might have been able to afford it. But we didn’t have any real NEED for it; we just WANTED it.
Take Chuck for instance. His wife had a perfectly good SUV. Chuck took it down and traded it in for a new one. The reason he TOLD himself that he bought it was “I got it because the other one was eating us alive with poor gas mileage. This one is more fuel efficient.” Give me a break. NOBODY buys an SUV if the real reason is fuel efficiency. The best SUV couldn’t possibly be as fuel efficient as a smaller car. But that was the reason that helped justify the purchase for Chuck. If he’d been honest, he probably would have said “The reason I bought it is because the new one looks better, smells better, has a Bluetooth and some smokin’ hot twenty-inch wheels.”
Now I don’t mean to pick on car purchases. We can do this with just about anything. We all know that we have.
The question is: Why do we do that?
We talked about making wise, prudent decisions last week. And we all know that the wise decision will take us down the path of ultimate happiness. But here’s the rub. Our IMMEDIATE HAPPINESS isn’t always stroked when we’re prudent. We are constantly on the prowl for that buzz of happiness that happens right NOW. We tell ourselves we should be happy that we take our money and put it into a savings account for a rainy day. But when we just saw that shiny new THING, that we had to have, like an18 foot bass fishing boat with 100% unsinkable level flotation, lifetime structural hull warranty, pro seat with power pole, and Teleflex sea star hydraulic steering,
or that beautiful solid oak dining set including a 10 foot extendable table with 8 chairs and a china hutch with two wood-framed, beveled glass doors, 3 adjustable glass shelves and halogen lights,
WE’RE NOT ALL THAT HAPPY!
And we should think: “I’ve got that money that I’ve been saving for future house repairs. Won’t it be wonderful to have the money to pay for a new roof when it starts to leak? That will make me happy.”
Of COURSE we don’t think that.
We think “I’d be very happy if I had that boat. It’s the coolest boat I’ve ever seen.” And then we start in with the justification. “I’d probably catch more fish in that boat because it would take me out farther into the lake and it would be more comfortable so I’d fish longer. And if I caught more fish we could eat them and we’d save money on our grocery bill. And I can take my grandchildren fishing with me and we’ll have a wonderful time.” (That excuse works even if that the grandchild isn’t even conceived yet.)
Or
“That dining set is JUST what I’ve been looking for. It is so beautiful.” And the justification stage kicks in “I can host all kinds of family dinners; we’ll really bond as a family around the table. The china hutch will hold my grandmothers china and my children will be enriched by the heritage of the stories that I’ll tell them about my grandmother.”
You get the point.
In the Message version of the writings of the prophet Jeremiah we read:
9-10"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be." Jeremiah 17:9-10 (the Message)
We lie to ourselves every day so that we can have what we want when we want it.
We don’t NEED the Starbucks coffee. We can brew coffee at home whenever we want for a lot less; even if we can’t bring ourselves to do that we can buy it at McDonalds. But we LIKE Starbucks better, and it makes us happy; so we buy it. Maybe we justify the $20 or $30 we spend a week on coffee by saying “It’s my one little luxury that I allow myself to have.” There’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s just be honest though; it’s not the ONLY luxury we have. Our entire lives are more luxurious than most of the rest of the world.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting what we want; but the only way to coolly examine our wants and recognize them as wants instead of needs is to be HONEST with ourselves. We are so used to justification that we automatically jump to those thoughts in order to make our wants OK. We can’t live wise, prudent lives on paths that lead to our ultimate destination if we’re not sure where we are right now. That’s why we’ve got to be honest with ourselves.
We might decide to go ahead and be unwise. We might know that a particular decision is going to take us down a path that will eventually lead us to a dead end, or even a destructive end. Prudent, wise people wouldn’t go there and we know it. But today we say “I’m going into the jungle knowing it’s full of poisonous snakes and deadly spiders. But that’s what I want to do and I’m going to do it.” No justification, just honesty.
At one point early in my ministry I counseled a couple who was planning their wedding. They had been living together for seven years, and now they were going to be married. The length of time they had been together was significant in itself because many marriages start to travel on some bumpy roads at the seven year mark. Their relationship was beyond bumpy. They didn’t agree on anything. They didn’t like each others habits. They didn’t agree on religion. They had completely different styles of money management. They didn’t agree on how their children should be raised. (Thankfully they didn’t have any at the time.) One of them dominated the other one and the one being dominated resented it terribly. So after three counseling sessions I asked them, “Why do you want to get married to each other?”
And she said, “Because I love him.
And he said, “Because I love her.”
If love had ever existed in that relationship, it was hard to find evidence of it now. They could not come up with any concrete answers to the question. I advised them together and separately to seriously consider breaking up, living apart and taking some time as individuals to find out what they really wanted from a mate.
I’d love to tell you that they didn’t get married. They did. And I performed the ceremony, justifying it by saying “Well they’d just go get someone else to do it so I guess I might as well.”
And they justified it by saying “When we get married everything will be different.”
All three of us were wrong.
Jesus, in the gospel of John says this:
"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32 (TNIV)
Only when we tell the truth to ourselves can we be free to follow the wise path and avoid destruction.
In every area of my life I have learned that if I have to think of a justification for what I am about to do, then I need to think hard about whether I should be doing it at all.
That doesn’t mean that blind decisions made hastily are the way to stay on the path either. We can’t rush into a decision without thinking and assume that it’s going to take us where we want to go. We could get lucky, but the odds are against us.
But most decisions aren’t made blindly. And usually we have plenty of information and insight and can SEE that a particular path is likely to lead us in the wrong direction. The problem is we deceive ourselves; we refuse to be honest with ourselves so we can justify our ability to do things that make us happy in the moment, even though they are more than likely to make us miserable in the long term.
Our society often lives by the adage “Trust your heart.” But Jeremiah had it right. The heart, that part of us that is looking for immediate happiness, lies to us. The only way we can work around it is to KNOW that it lies. To be honest with ourselves about our ability to deceive ourselves. We can’t trust it, because it’s like a two-year-old. It’s that part of us that does not want to see that a stove is hot and that if you pull the dog’s tail it will bite. Your two-year-old self will find a way to convince your adult, wise, prudent self that eating that pastry today won’t kill you; that hanging around the cute girl in the office won’t lead to infidelity; that going into debt that you can’t afford won’t ruin you.
The truth is liberating, but it can be terrifying and maddening. Whenever we’re about to make a decision that could end in an undesired destination, let’s fill in the blank. Say “The real reason I ……..”
The real reason I don’t invite people to my home is….
The real reason I don’t call my kids is…..
The real reason I don’t call my parents is….
The real reason I drink so much is….
The real reason I don’t go to church is…..
The truth will set us free to follow the path that takes us in the correct direction.
But first it might make you scared. It might make you angry.
But better to be scared and angry now with the truth than to be angry later with the deception.
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